Political Celebrity Dogs

by J. D. Crowe

Just a few weeks ago, Fairhope was buzzing with alleged sightings of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. The celebrity power couple of Fairhope might more likely be Paris Hilton and Willie Bean.

This election year is getting stranger and stranger, and everybody has a dog in the fight. We’re all quite proud of our own dog…the Canine Change Candidate from Fairhope, Willie Bean. His campaign for mayor has gotten worldwide attention while raising money for good causes and adding a sense of fun to a heated election year.

But who in the heck woulda thunk that ol’ John McCain would be dragging Paris Hilton and Britney Spears into the presidential campaign by comparing them with Barack Obama? And Paris, who, like, never misses an opportunity for self promotion, has jumped all over it with her own series of ads in response to McCain’s charges. If you haven’t seen at least one of the ads, you will. They’re hot. And she has a pretty good energy plan.

I’m afraid this whole celebrity thing will go to Willie’s head. He’s a good ol’ Southern boy, well-heeled and raised right, but all this attention and fame, I’m afraid, will have him humpin’ legs he shouldn’t be humpin’. All I’m sayin’ is, Willie has been doing great so far. He needs a sex scandal about as much as McCain needs a sunburn.