Herb Kandel
“Letter to the Editor” in the Mobile Press-Register

As persuasive as Jeannie Paradise was in her letter of Aug. 6, “Willie Bean support alarming,” I find it reprehensible that she resorted to playing the species card in her contention that this runner would indeed be lacking in breeding to become “top dog,” so to speak.

To augment my contention, just consider the following, and your opinion may flip or flop:

Take into account that Willie Bean had few backers and that he started from scratch. He refuses to accept any contributions from the PACK (Political Action Committee K-9) and promises to sign only those laws which have the “teeth” to enforce them.

Anyone claiming that flower beds and other arboreal types are in danger is barking up the wrong tree. Since way back when Hector was a pup, he has had a leg up on preserving nature’s bounty. His woof is as good as his bond. There are no canned speeches or rubber chicken fund-raisers with empty promises. His pledges are kept ? the whole kibble and caboodle.

He rejects the innuendo of a leashless society were he to be elected. In fact, he supports utilizing them on felines in his FED (Fur Equalization Doctrine). He supports a “leash and order” policy.

He is in favor of limiting the number of illegal feral cats, as they compete unfairly with the local predators. His independence is notable in that he would not heel, roll over or play dead on command to those who would hound him.

He takes pride in his appearance, breeding and grooming, although even with his fetching good looks he still loves to roll in the short grass, catch Frisbees, jump into ponds, play tug-of-war and enjoy the simple pleasures of the average Jo-Jo.

He denies vehemently (pooh-poohs) that his laying on of paws cured a constituent of distemper. Most probably an opposing candidate started this fiction to make him appear to worship golden idols.

Postal workers and other civil servants need not fear hostility. They can navigate their appointed rounds at ease, as anyone in uniform will be considered a friend (the one exception being someone carrying a rope loop on a long stick).

About tree-lighting ceremonies being hogged by dogs: There will be no discrimination. All are requested to participate. There will be open invitations to Alvin and the Chipmunks, Rudolph, the three blind mice, Barney, the inchworm, the itsy bitsy spider, Mary’s lamb, Puff the Magic Dragon and the yellow bird, and the Swan is asked to perform the finale.

So there you have a complete refutation of Ms. Paradise’s forebodings. Be not afraid of mounting a horse of a different color. It is not a bone of contention but rather an affirmation of Fairhope’s fair appraisal to go beyond fair and to become the best in show.

HERB KANDEL

Fairhope

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